Money matters when you don't have it

[NinaKat]

For the last couple of years, my husband and I have been in a rough spot financially. We certainly are not poor--we still shop at Whole Paycheck (Foods)--but we have had to dramatically change our lifestyle. We almost never go out anymore--dinner, drinks, etc. Our financial future is still uncertain, and I feel guilty if I do anything frivolous--don't buy that graphic novel! He let's me indulge, because it's my paycheck that we're clinging to for the most part, but our financial straits are constraining. We like to socialize, but we just do it less...We have people over for dinner, we buy the food and wine. It feels natural for us to still feel generous, even when we cannot...it's a matter of pride, too.

I think there's a difference between owning and buying things--the materialist bent--and really needing things you cannot afford. We basically don't buy anything until it's about to break...unfortunately, technology has a limited life, and like everyone now, we rely on it. So, if anyone has some ideas about how to keep your chin up when you've been knocked on the head with a brick at least for the last two years, I'd love to hear it!

[sixfeet]

Your message really rekindles some memories for me NinaKat. I've been there too. I find myself wishing I had some grand pearl of wisdom to give to you. The best I can do is tell you to keep doing your best, listen to the advice of those you respect and keep the people who are good for you close.

I'm glad you found this board and had the courage to share.

[redshoes]

It is interesting how a similar discussion came up with one of my friends. She had a similar situation and attitude towards her financial status. She tries hard to make more just to reach the point to go out more and to indulge her more. When she brought that up with some of our friends, my first though is that I have very dear friends back from where I started not in this country who are leaving on less than her salary but with similar expenses. In fact, one of my friends made even a funny comment: with what she can afford these people feel that are filthy rich! This is so true. Could you imagine that in a differnt world with different friends, with different needs, you may feel rich!

What is different is the culture. In a culture where we indulge with things that we do not need and we do not want, when all our friends have just enough to indulge more than we do, we fell that money matters. It matters because we expose ourself to indulgence. Yes, we may not be able to travel and see the world. We may not be able to eat out. But you can still be filthy happy.

[Traveler]

I understand you very well. My life has been improving from year to year. But there were times when I could not afford many things, like going out. I felt frustrated, especially that the future didn’t look better. But now I look back and I regret that my mind was so preoccupied by my problems with money. We should try as much as we can to make ourselves happy with what life has to offer at the moment.

[sailaway]

How do you stay happy with what life has offered you in the present Traveler? How have you learned to do this?